Posts Tagged ‘wives’

Don’t Go Sexless—Part Two

In my last post, I began explaining a simple solution to head off the problem of sexless marriage.  I pointed out how couples, generally, get to sexless when one person unilaterally decides to say, “no” to the sexual advances of the other—and sometimes for legitimate reasons. But I went on to reason that simply saying, “no” isn’t the answer and that it will actually work against getting the improvements you want in the relationship.  You need to answer a request for sex from your spouse with some version of “yes”. If you haven’t read Part One, (add link) do so before you continue on.

Let’s go back to the previous examples I gave in Part One—lack of hygiene and when the sex is “one sided”—to address how to use my “some version of yes” solution. If your hubby can’t seem to find the shower or toothbrush prior to jumping into bed for a session of lovemaking, don’t roll over in a huff and bark, “No! Get away!” at him, or pretend you are already sleeping. Simply smile and say, “Yes, dear! I’ll rock your world, just as soon as you shower and brush your teeth. Come see me when you’re squeaky clean, and I’ll put a big ol’ grin on your face.” See, the solution? Do you see how it will end in an entirely different way? For the wife to just say, “no” and roll over leaves the poor guy shot down in flames and leads to ill feelings and a strained relationship for both of you.

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Drawing the Lines

There is a great song by Michael Buble titled “Everything”. It’s quite romantic actually, as he is telling his girl how important she is to him:

You’re a falling star, You’re the get away car.
You’re the line in the sand when I go too far.
You’re the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you’re the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it’s kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don’t pretend, that you don’t know it’s true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

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Not Your Mother

So often I hear women complain because they have to ask their husbands to do things. They complain that they have to remind them—sometimes repeatedly—to put their laundry away or do the dishes or help with the kids. The list of transgressions that they recite is then followed with a line similar to, “I should be his wife, not his mother!” or “I feel like I have two small kids and a big one!” You get the idea. What is really at the bottom of all this frustration is that these women expect their men to be like women.

Because another woman would see that the dishes needed to be done, or the laundry put away. Their sisters, mothers, or girlfriends would automatically know that the kids need to be bathed and put to bed and they would jump right in and do it. But men are not women! Often, we literally don’t see these things; they aren’t big priorities to us and, as far as we know, the world won’t end if they aren’t tended to immediately.
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